Episode #8 on the on going Web Series: “The Ex-housewives Of Vancouver”! Musician and single mom, Jacqui Brown, gives her inspiring story of how she got past her common law breakup & moved on with her successful music career while raising her young son.
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
http://www.interviewtalkshow.com

Dating Advice:

Are you sabotaging every date you have due to your insecurities? Everyone has self esteem issues to some degree and no one is flawless. Try to remember that most people are a little frightened putting themselves out there in the dating market. It is not easy at any age but it is always worth finding love. There is someone for everyone!
Susan McCord@ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
Andrea Wesley@ http://www.MusicToMySoul-Tulip.Blogspot.com
Category:

Another episode of the Web Series, “The Ex-housewives of Vancouver”. An attractive woman gives her view of the demise of her marriage and how it has changed her life.
Susan McCord @ http://www.beavertalk.com
http://www.interviewtalkshow.com http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
Sharon Graystone -Guest Housewife

Two women discuss some funny & not so funny dates they have had or their friends have encountered. It doesn’t matter what age you are, dates come in all shapes, sizes and weirdness. One man has his say regarding his opinion on stalker chicks.

Bad dates can include a variety of circumstances from boredom to something embarrassing that occurred on your date. It could be a really bad setup or a dangerous scenario that you ignored. Your intuition should always be your number one guide when putting yourself out there into the dating market.

Things to be aware of on a first date:

• Are they attentive to you & do they make eye contact?
• Did they make an effort with their appearance?
• Is the conversation shared equally?
• Are they respectful?
• Do they make you feel special?
• Were they on time for the date?
• Did they reschedule the date more than once?
• Do they bring up sex right away?
• Do they take you to your car or your front door after the date ends?
• Are you opposites?

What do you do if you are uncomfortable and want to leave? Many people are too nice to say anything controversial. It is always a good idea to have a “set time limit” on the first few dates so they are aware that you have to be somewhere else. Set a time for a friend to call. Have a code word for whether the date is a success or not. Do not go to their house or let them pick you up until you have established a trust & rapport with them.

One of the ways to prevent some disaster dates is by pre-screening. Don’t take your friend or family’s word for it that he/she is perfect for you. Ask the questions that are important to you. Requesting a photo is not unreasonable or shallow. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has different taste. Use the technology at your fingertips. Google them!

Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City,” says that first dates are like job interviews with Cocktails. How true is that statement! When applying for a job you are paying attention to what they are saying and what they are offering you. When someone talks about themselves for the entire first date, what did they learn about you? They really don’t need to see you again they just need a reflection of themselves in the mirror. Nervousness is one thing but arrogance is another. Caring about another person is the first rule of dating. If it is all about them in the beginning, chances are, it will always be.

Should you be honest if the date is rude? Most people do not know how to express themselves. If the date is bad they just let it go as an experience. You could make a difference in their life by telling them what bothered you and maybe they will learn from it. Everyone deserves to be happy and some people really do not know how they come across. You may have been put in their path to teach them something. Life lessons are not always about us.

When planning a date, always have a alternative option in case your original plan gets altered due to the weather, kids, or work problems. It shows you are spontaneous and have some organizational skills and respect for their time by not bailing on the date, you are compromising to keep from canceling. The first few dates should not include alcohol. You need to keep a clear head when meeting someone for the first time just as you would in that job interview. If you must have a few cocktails, do not email, text or call them after drinking.
Susan McCord youtube.com/twobeavers
Andrea Wesley examiner.com/Andrea Wesley

Mixed signals, is a dating topic that many people question! It seems that men and women cannot get past the first 3 or 4 dates dues to the mixed signals they are receiving. What is going on & why has that not changed over the years? Insecurities and past hurts are what keep people from having normalcy in their relationships. Everyone gets their rule book out and if their date doesn’t pass the test early on, they are deleted from their blackberry. The effort is not put forth anymore to really get to know someone and accept some of their imperfections.

Some women can play games with communication and make a man guess what they are thinking or what is bothering them. Women punish their partner with the silent treatment when they are upset about something. Men can also be bad at communication by ignoring the woman’s cold shoulder thinking she will get over it if he just lets her be. This usually has the opposite affect.

In the beginning, when getting to know your date, friendship should be the priority before sex & intimacy, rule your heart. Being sexually compatible is important and many people do not want to waste their time if the chemistry isn’t there between the sheets. Intimacy changes everything for a woman, and new expectations come into play.

Playing games every other week to try to fight for leadership & control is very dangerous. Some relationships seem to have one partner that wants continual control. This usually ends up being the demise of the partnership when the other half gets tired of the obvious game.

Mixed Signals can also come in the form of pushing the relationship too fast & then a month later they are not as interested anymore. This is a very common scenario especially if sex was introduced too quickly. There is an old expression that when someone comes in too fast to the relationship, they usually go out, just as fast!

Being aware that the type of person you are attracting, is the key to long lasting love. By choosing people who are commitment phobic, could mean you are not ready yourself to commit. Another mistake some people make is by needing their friend’s approval. It is best to make your own assumptions first by listening to your intuition. Some of your friends may be jealous or judgmental of your new flame and say things to sabotage it.

Dating later in life can be difficult as you may less tolerant. If your space feels threatened it may make you pull back, especially if both parties are fresh out of a relationship. There is a reason why you hurt after a break-up, and you are supposed to take time to heal. How can you possibly be whole? You just take your emotional baggage into the next relationship even if you don’t think you do. Galloping on the next horse is not always a good ride, it’s just a different one.

Ask your date what they are looking for. Don’t be afraid to find out early, it may be the opposite of where you see yourself and you can discuss that with them. Diplomacy should be used and a leave the checklist at home. Body language gives away many answers if you are paying attention, which is what dating is all about.

Listen clearly to what they say. If they say they don’t want to be in a committed relationship and that is important to you, move on. They have told you honestly. If they are playing a game or hard to get, you really don’t want to waste time trying to figure that out. Relationships don’t have to be that difficult. People make them that way because they try to change each other rather than listen to who their date really is.

Don’t get caught up in this cat and mouse game. Learn early on whether it is worth pursuing. Learn to listen to what they are saying and not only what you want to hear. The more often you get on the treadmill of dating people who send mixed signals, the more you will lose your trust for a future mate. It is wise to take some time away from dating if there is a pattern developing because it could be you, and not them, that is causing the demise of your happiness with someone special.
Susan McCord