BEAVERTALK.COM

Gay Pride Parade day is a very colorful annual event in the heart of downtown Vancouver, B.C. 700,000 straight & gay people came out to celebrate this huge party! Talk show host Susan McCord interviews a variety of interesting people on the dating market in Vancouver and one couple from Seattle.
Susan McCord @ http://www.Vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com

A boyfriend writes in to Talk Show about how to deal with his girlfriends newly acquired odor down there. How does he tell her and what can be done about it?
Susan McCord @ http://www.vancouverdatingrelationship.com
Andrea Wesley @ http://www.MusicToMySoul-Tulip.Blogspot.com

Two women from two generations discuss a viewer question about how long a sex session should last when in a relationship.
Susan McCord @
http://www.vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com
Andrea Wesley @ http://www.MusicToMySoul-Tulip.Blogspot.com

Episode #8 on the on going Web Series: “The Ex-housewives Of Vancouver”! Musician and single mom, Jacqui Brown, gives her inspiring story of how she got past her common law breakup & moved on with her successful music career while raising her young son.
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
http://www.interviewtalkshow.com

Dating Advice:

Are you sabotaging every date you have due to your insecurities? Everyone has self esteem issues to some degree and no one is flawless. Try to remember that most people are a little frightened putting themselves out there in the dating market. It is not easy at any age but it is always worth finding love. There is someone for everyone!
Susan McCord@ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
Andrea Wesley@ http://www.MusicToMySoul-Tulip.Blogspot.com
Category:

Another episode of the Web Series, “The Ex-housewives of Vancouver”. An attractive woman gives her view of the demise of her marriage and how it has changed her life.
Susan McCord @ http://www.beavertalk.com
http://www.interviewtalkshow.com http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
Sharon Graystone -Guest Housewife

Two women discuss some funny & not so funny dates they have had or their friends have encountered. It doesn’t matter what age you are, dates come in all shapes, sizes and weirdness. One man has his say regarding his opinion on stalker chicks.

Bad dates can include a variety of circumstances from boredom to something embarrassing that occurred on your date. It could be a really bad setup or a dangerous scenario that you ignored. Your intuition should always be your number one guide when putting yourself out there into the dating market.

Things to be aware of on a first date:

• Are they attentive to you & do they make eye contact?
• Did they make an effort with their appearance?
• Is the conversation shared equally?
• Are they respectful?
• Do they make you feel special?
• Were they on time for the date?
• Did they reschedule the date more than once?
• Do they bring up sex right away?
• Do they take you to your car or your front door after the date ends?
• Are you opposites?

What do you do if you are uncomfortable and want to leave? Many people are too nice to say anything controversial. It is always a good idea to have a “set time limit” on the first few dates so they are aware that you have to be somewhere else. Set a time for a friend to call. Have a code word for whether the date is a success or not. Do not go to their house or let them pick you up until you have established a trust & rapport with them.

One of the ways to prevent some disaster dates is by pre-screening. Don’t take your friend or family’s word for it that he/she is perfect for you. Ask the questions that are important to you. Requesting a photo is not unreasonable or shallow. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has different taste. Use the technology at your fingertips. Google them!

Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City,” says that first dates are like job interviews with Cocktails. How true is that statement! When applying for a job you are paying attention to what they are saying and what they are offering you. When someone talks about themselves for the entire first date, what did they learn about you? They really don’t need to see you again they just need a reflection of themselves in the mirror. Nervousness is one thing but arrogance is another. Caring about another person is the first rule of dating. If it is all about them in the beginning, chances are, it will always be.

Should you be honest if the date is rude? Most people do not know how to express themselves. If the date is bad they just let it go as an experience. You could make a difference in their life by telling them what bothered you and maybe they will learn from it. Everyone deserves to be happy and some people really do not know how they come across. You may have been put in their path to teach them something. Life lessons are not always about us.

When planning a date, always have a alternative option in case your original plan gets altered due to the weather, kids, or work problems. It shows you are spontaneous and have some organizational skills and respect for their time by not bailing on the date, you are compromising to keep from canceling. The first few dates should not include alcohol. You need to keep a clear head when meeting someone for the first time just as you would in that job interview. If you must have a few cocktails, do not email, text or call them after drinking.
Susan McCord youtube.com/twobeavers
Andrea Wesley examiner.com/Andrea Wesley

Mixed signals, is a dating topic that many people question! It seems that men and women cannot get past the first 3 or 4 dates dues to the mixed signals they are receiving. What is going on & why has that not changed over the years? Insecurities and past hurts are what keep people from having normalcy in their relationships. Everyone gets their rule book out and if their date doesn’t pass the test early on, they are deleted from their blackberry. The effort is not put forth anymore to really get to know someone and accept some of their imperfections.

Some women can play games with communication and make a man guess what they are thinking or what is bothering them. Women punish their partner with the silent treatment when they are upset about something. Men can also be bad at communication by ignoring the woman’s cold shoulder thinking she will get over it if he just lets her be. This usually has the opposite affect.

In the beginning, when getting to know your date, friendship should be the priority before sex & intimacy, rule your heart. Being sexually compatible is important and many people do not want to waste their time if the chemistry isn’t there between the sheets. Intimacy changes everything for a woman, and new expectations come into play.

Playing games every other week to try to fight for leadership & control is very dangerous. Some relationships seem to have one partner that wants continual control. This usually ends up being the demise of the partnership when the other half gets tired of the obvious game.

Mixed Signals can also come in the form of pushing the relationship too fast & then a month later they are not as interested anymore. This is a very common scenario especially if sex was introduced too quickly. There is an old expression that when someone comes in too fast to the relationship, they usually go out, just as fast!

Being aware that the type of person you are attracting, is the key to long lasting love. By choosing people who are commitment phobic, could mean you are not ready yourself to commit. Another mistake some people make is by needing their friend’s approval. It is best to make your own assumptions first by listening to your intuition. Some of your friends may be jealous or judgmental of your new flame and say things to sabotage it.

Dating later in life can be difficult as you may less tolerant. If your space feels threatened it may make you pull back, especially if both parties are fresh out of a relationship. There is a reason why you hurt after a break-up, and you are supposed to take time to heal. How can you possibly be whole? You just take your emotional baggage into the next relationship even if you don’t think you do. Galloping on the next horse is not always a good ride, it’s just a different one.

Ask your date what they are looking for. Don’t be afraid to find out early, it may be the opposite of where you see yourself and you can discuss that with them. Diplomacy should be used and a leave the checklist at home. Body language gives away many answers if you are paying attention, which is what dating is all about.

Listen clearly to what they say. If they say they don’t want to be in a committed relationship and that is important to you, move on. They have told you honestly. If they are playing a game or hard to get, you really don’t want to waste time trying to figure that out. Relationships don’t have to be that difficult. People make them that way because they try to change each other rather than listen to who their date really is.

Don’t get caught up in this cat and mouse game. Learn early on whether it is worth pursuing. Learn to listen to what they are saying and not only what you want to hear. The more often you get on the treadmill of dating people who send mixed signals, the more you will lose your trust for a future mate. It is wise to take some time away from dating if there is a pattern developing because it could be you, and not them, that is causing the demise of your happiness with someone special.
Susan McCord

Established musician Jacqui Brown from Vancouver, discusses her “new album” that is now being recorded with another well know musician, John Burton (Doug & The Slugs.) Jacqui & John are regulars in the “Vancouver Music Industry” and have a great following!

Susan McCord @http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

http://www.interviewtalkshow.com

CONTACT Email: susanmccord9@gmail.com

Love is not an easy part of life and most people have had their share of drama in this department. The movie, “It’s complicated”, starring Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, & Steve Martin depicts this in a humorous fashion that audiences of all ages can relate to. The basis of this movie is an ex-husband (who has remarried to a much younger woman) falls back in love with his ex-wife and they secretly have an affair. The writers are brilliant and the dialogue is witty with hilarious one liners.

After a break-up, couples go through a huge emotional upheaval, but do the feelings of their initial love ever really go away? There are different types of love and “time frames” in which individuals move on from the hurt. Some people never get over it while others start over in their new lives without a glitch. Is the grass really greener on the other side? Do people walk away too easily today and jump into another relationship because it’s fresh & uncomplicated? Is it our ego or our hearts that are actually feeling the pain when someone walks away? Isn’t there a secret desire for most people to want their ex to regret walking away from the relationship? How many people seek revenge by looking good? Jenny Craig and boot camps become their new best friends. Why isn’t this practiced within the partnership on a regular basis? Is it complacency, laziness or boredom that changes things? Relationship commitment should be run like a business. What company would quit trying to make money or let their concept die? It is a long term investment, not a penny stock.

Look at how many couples consummate their break-ups. As Meryl Streep said in the movie, “It’s Ex with benefits.” (It can be sweet revenge if they are still with the other person that they left the marriage for.) Do you really want to play the devil against karma though? If & when the opportunity arises for a rekindling of romance from the person who left you, it should not be ignored. This is the time to ask the questions & look back at your relationship with a new clarity you acquired from your time apart. The relationship may look completely different now. Dr. John Gray has numerous videos & books on how men & women need to understand each other and it is worth investing time in outside help. We all play a part in relationship breakups and to change the pattern and move on to a more fulfilling path, there has to be acknowledgment.

In the movie, Meryl admitted her faults and chose to move on with a new partner. Not an easy decision when her past love was still there and begging her forgiveness. Understanding and knowing when the relationship has run its course is the lesson to be learned. Having the strength to deal with it, embrace it and own your part in it, is a beautiful life lesson. It may hurt in the process but it will feel like graduation day all over again when you get finally grasp the reality.
Susan McCord

Meet “Free4all, the amazing Acapella foursome from the United States. These attractive young men entertain guests
on numerous cruises around the world. They only formed this group in November of 2009, but have been singing
individually for a few years. Il Divo comes to mind when watching them perform.

VIEWER QUESTION:

Hi Susan,
I am a single Mom who is starting to go stir crazy due to the lack of male affection I receive. My son is 12 years old and I have raised him by myself for 9 years. His father has limited contact due to his “busy lifestyle”, which gives me 90% access time with my son. I am starting to forget what sex is, and do not want to become one of these bitter women who really just need to get laid! I would be happy if I just had sex once every 2 weeks at this point. It doesn’t have to be a relationship, but I would like it to be with the same guy. Can you steer me in the right direction?
Lonely Mom

ANSWER:

I can totally relate to your question as I had a similar situation while raising my son. There is definitely something to be said for having every other weekend to yourself when your child goes to see the other parent! We all need to re-energize! Our “Friends with Benefits” video may be a good one for you to watch, as we talk about having a partner that is strictly for sex, (with very few strings attached.)

Is your Ex abstaining from enjoying a good sex-life? I think not! Times have changed and both sexes deserve to feel loved or at least sexually satisfied. Get yourself out there and meet a great guy that you can have reciprocal interludes with. You can set your own boundaries and still feel good about yourself. Put that spring back in your step, wipe off the cobwebs and enjoy what nature gave you to use. Orgasms are the new Prozac for Single Moms!
xoxo Susan McCord

VIEWER QUESTION:

I have a friend that is very depressed that she is still single at 40. She has never been married but turns her nose up at men she meets that have also not been married. She also makes comments on trivial things about men and won’t see them again because of it. I don’t understand her double standard and feel this is why she isn’t meeting someone. I have told her she is being negative, and her “]high Maintenance checklist” is ruining her chance of meeting a quality man. She just shrugs it off. She is becoming bitter and it is hard to be around her. I seem to be her only support and her family has never been there for her. What advice do you have for her?
Concerned Pal

ANSWER:

What a great “pal” you are for taking the time to write on her behalf. The message I get from what you wrote, is that she is sabotaging her own happiness by finding fault with each guy she meets. Many people do not feel they deserve to be in a loving relationship and judging by what you said about her family, this is probably the case.

If you weren’t shown love as a child, it is hard to know what it is, or how to bring it into your life. She sounds like she may be getting angry as the years go by, because she hasn’t dealt with this underlying issue. It is interesting how human nature works sometimes. The one thing we really want, we push away! It is all about self-esteem in the end. I would advise that your friend seek some counseling very soon, or she will not only remain single, but also lose you and other friends who are tired of her negativity. It’s never too late to make changes in your life.
xoxo the beavers

VIEWER QUESTION:

I am a 32 year old [tag-tec]single woman[/tag-tec]. A guy I am interested in texts me regularly but we have never dated. He is definitely [tag-tec]flirting[/tag-tec] with me and I know he is playing hard to get. How long should I wait for him to ask me out in person?
Patricia Patience

ANSWER:

Hi Patricia, thanks for writing. The beavers do not believe in hiding behind a [tag-tec]text[/tag-tec] or voice mail. If someone is interested they do not need 15 messages to start the process. You did not say you had actually met this guy, but regardless, [tag-tec]texting[/tag-tec] should not go on for too long before you set up some type of meeting. It is the same for online dating! Why spend all that time chatting before you even lay eyes on each other? (Chemistry is everything initially.) Who has time to waste with small talk! Let’s get this out in the open and see if he actually wants to make something happen.

Women today need to [tag-tec]approach men[/tag-tec] as well. The days are gone where it is all about men having to do the initiating. In your next text to him, ask if you could buy him a coffee in the next few days. If he makes excuses as to why he is so busy for the next week you will have your answer. If he answers quickly with “when and where,” you will be happy to know your [tag-tec]instincts[/tag-tec] were right! Both sexes need to get away from this mixed signals attitude. Don’t wait for them, if you are interested make the first move. Don’t be [tag-tec]aggressive[/tag-tec], be [tag-tec]assertive[/tag-tec]. If they blow you off, move on. Don’t become a [tag-tec]bunny boiler[/tag-tec].
xoxo the beavers

Too much sex hurting your back? Learn how to alleviate back pain with these simple “at home” exercises and avoid regular visits to the Chiropractor.

Find a space in your home that allows you to move around freely. Wear something comfortable that enables you to stretch. (Naked is better as clothing can be restricting with some of these moves.)

Take two tennis balls and put them in a tube sock about 3 inches apart. (If the sock is tight you will not have to tie an knot in the end of the sock to keep the balls from coming out) Put the sock behind the part of your back that is sore and gently roll on it. (Grab your knees and use a rocking motion) If the pain is close to your tail bone, you can adjust the balls in the sock closer together to accommodate the smaller area. (Be gentle around tendons and ligament areas) Space the balls further apart for the wider part of your back) This is a great exercise for relieving the stress between your shoulder blades as well. Especially if you are the partner on top during sex!

The Groin Stretch is also used to keep your back from going into a Spasm. If your groin muscle gets tight from having your legs around your partner, it pulls your back forward causing lower back pain over time. To do this, kneel down and put your left leg forward in a 90 degree angle with your body upright. Your left hand should rest lightly on your left knee. Your right leg is behind you with your right hand on your hip. Lean into a stretch so your right leg feels the groin pull slightly. Do not bounce, ease into the stretch slowly and hold for 60 Seconds.

Repeat this action with the other leg and do at least 3 repetitions for each side. This muscle gets ignored because people do not know how to release the tension it receives on a daily basis, especially during sex or excessive stair climbing/hiking. Implementing these stretches 3-5 days a week will help with any back pain especially as you get older.

Tips & Warnings:

Stretching is even more important as we get older

Using the tennis ball/sock routine daily will alleviate your Doctor’s Visits

De-stressing your back and groin muscles, keeps them relaxed and less prone to seizing up.

Use light pressure with the tennis balls and keep direct pressure off of your spine.

Never bounce when stretching and always ease into a stretch

Susan McCord

What makes you horny and what makes you sexually attracted to someone instantly? Ultimately, that is what we all want when we are looking for that perfect partner. Someone that makes a woman’s panties moist from across the room, or for men they get the 21-gun salute crotch bulge. How often does this happen? Not as often as you’d think!

So why don’t we all just splash “Androstenone Pheromone” all over us and sniff each other as quickly as dogs do in the park? Why are we all so scared or reserved in approaching someone, and what the hell are we saving ourselves for? Why are we spending hundreds of dollars on dating improvement CDs, seduction videos and oral sex classes at our local love shops? The answer is simple…because we want to be the best we can be sexually, and attract the same back.

We don’t want to have the habitual relationships that our grandparents lived in the past. We don’t have to because we have more opportunities today than they ever had. So lets talk about what men and women are attracted to and what really makes them horny!

WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR:

1. Can he tie a maraschino cherry stem with his tongue?
2. Is he stand-out attractive like the Calvin Klein underwear model?
3. Does he have a strong presence (can you visualize him sitting on a Harley)?
4. How he dresses…is he wearing a men’s small to bring out his biceps?
5. His career & ambitions, does he sit crooked due to the bulging wallet in his back pocket?
6. Sex appeal…can you picture him holding a wet bath towel on his erection?
7. Hands & feet: Are his shoes a size 13?
8. Is he sober?? (at least not slurring anyway!)
9. Offers to buy you a drink and chooses a Grey Goose Martini over a Lemon Gin pantie remover
10. No Groping

WHAT MEN LOOK FOR:

1. Nice figure…definition: Big Tits
2. She has a healthy appetite…can swallow a foot long hotdog whole!
3. Is she a sexy dresser and brings along with her extra attire for the [tag-tec]walk of shame[/tag-tec] morning after?
4. Does she smell wonderful…definition: reeks of sex!
5. Does she like sports and can actually tell you who A.Rod, Leftie & The Great One are?
6. Does she have a pulse after midnight? Definition: Breathing and isn’t sporting a toe tag

So there you have it…the essential list of what makes men & women REALLY horny!
xoxo The beavers

My guest Co-host day is Leanne Chapotelle. Leanne is a huge fan of Reality TV and I am somewhat as well. It is an escape from everyday stresses of life and we enjoy our time living vicariously through the people of these shows! Today we want to discuss The Bachelorette, Jillian Harris!

Leanne & I are both living in Vancouver which has been Jillian’s Harris home for the past few years. Although, as of Sept 14th she just moved in with Ed Swiderski in Chicago despite all the bad press Ed has received since the show ended, about other women in his life.

I had the pleasure of running into Jillian Harris and her mom about 4 weeks ago at a Vancouver Restaurant called The Cactus Club. She was exactly how I thought she would be! Gorgeous, pleasant, very fit and tiny! We chatted for about 15 minutes and she was very candid with her answers to my questions. She seemed very sincere and really in love with Ed Swiderski. The media coverage the couple had been receiving didn’t seem to sway her faith in him. Jillian has no airs and is naturally warm and friendly. I really enjoyed meeting her and could see why half of the bachelors fell in love with her.

She was hooking up with the Last Bachelor, Jason Mesnick and his girlfriend Molly Malaney from The Bachelorette for dinner the following week in Vancouver… So, things seem to be OK between them after her dismissal from Jason’s Bachelor series! Ed Swiderski has openly admitted about his relationship with past girlfriend Lindsey Johnson prior to getting engaged with Jillian Harris. He confessed, “When I left for this show we were not dating, but I certainly still had feelings for her.” How many of us have not gone into a new relationship with old feelings still lingering? It doesn’t go away overnight. Jillian says it has happened to her in the past as well.

Regardless of what we “the fans” think, it is not up to us to make a judgment call on her happiness. She seemed pretty level headed to me and her Mom was not a pushover either. She was expressive and also candid with us, when we met talked to her at the restaurant. Ed & Jillian are definitely engaged and she had her ring on! She looked like she was having a margarita drink so I ruled out that she could be pregnant. Jillian’s biggest detriment might be that she is a hopeless romantic. Maybe too much…We just hope she has her eyes wide open. It is very easy to get caught up in the whole media frenzy of it all…Who wouldn’t?

Leanne would have chosen Ed but I personally liked Reid as I found him to be more playful, like Jillian is. Ed seemed more serious and a bit of a workaholic. I am not sure I would have let him come back when he left the show early due to his career guilt. That still seems odd to me…I guess we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and Jillian admitted that there were many things not shown on the actual show.

Let’s talk about Wes the Country Singer! They say no press is bad press, and he will probably get a music contract out of all of this in the end! That pisses me off. He probably has women flocking to him as well. Why do women like bad asses like him? OJ Simpson seemed to have no problem having a love life either! Are some women so attracted to the Celebrity notoriety regardless of how naive or stupid they look? Do their morals go out the window for their ten minutes of fame?

Many of the past Bachelors and Bachelorettes from past shows have recently got together and are now dating. That is pretty interesting. With all the past seasons and one big party, it could be a great dating service. Everyone has something in common and most of them are very attractive. It would be one fun party! Maybe we should start our own Reality TV show! There isn’t a Vancouver Housewives yet?!

Anyway, thanks for tuning in to beavertalk and thank you Jillian Harris for giving us a great Season 5 on “The Bachelorette!” You did Canadian women proud with your warm and fun loving personality. We wish you nothing but a wonderful future. Come back and visit is lots. Talking with your Mom that day, I know that is her wish too!
Cheers, Susan McCord

Today’s Special Guest is Vancouver Actress, Leanne Chapotelle. The topic we chose for today is: “I DON’T WANT CHILDREN!” Not everyone is into having babies and all that goes with it for at least 20 years! We are going to discuss some of the reasons why.

Some people make this choice due to do health issues, not being able to keep a relationship, time consuming careers or just a personal dislike of children in general. When I started to think about it, I can’t believe how many of my friends don’t have children! It is becoming more and more popular. (Some of them have at least one dog and sometimes I want to smack them for how much they treat the animal like a kid!) They spoil them rotten and they never leave them at home alone. They hire babysitters and even allow their pet to sit at the dinner table with them! That seems pretty maternal to me, so why not have kids?) But then…If you don’t want children, people think it is odd that you do not have a maternal instinct as a woman and try to change your mind. (Misery loves company LOL)

Questions to Leanne about her choice to not have children:

• What age did you decide that children were not in your future?
I never had a maternal instinct from day one. I just knew I wasn’t going to be a mother.

• Are your reasons due to sad memories or an abusive situation?
Not overly, but I didn’t have the most secure childhood. I was raised by a single mother who re-married a few times

• You are with a younger man who also doesn’t want kids, do you worry that he may change his mind down the road about wanting children? After all men’s biological clocks can go until 60!
Yes, I have thought about that but what can I do if it happens. We both concentrate on our relationship all the time and really do put each other first.

Kira Sabin – The Dating Makeover Coach hosts a radio program on Tuesday nights from Wisconsin USA. We hooked up with Kira via Twitter and tonight Kira and her sidekick Richard from California interviewed Susan and I about Beavertalk. Please click on the video to hear the show.
xoxo The Beavers